Reflection.
I would like to mention that I took at least 15 tries and over an hour to have one “perfect” video introduction about myself. Strengths: Wasn’t too shy Was serious I showed a big smile Weaknesses: I had to stop and think about what next to say I was nervous I was sort of shy Took me a dozen times to take a good video I stuttered So as you can see on this reflection paper, I have many more weaknesses I would like to work out on by first getting comfortable with myself. I think being comfortable is the key to help me overcome my nervousness and shyness especially within a crowd. I am not to sure how to overcome the fact that I stutter but I know the main cause of so is basically being “scared” of what others may say or think about me. So I really hope speech class would help me overcome these weaknesses so I can finally be comfortable not only with myself but also to others and to the future students, teachers, and parents as I pursue on as an educator.
I Believe In Negativity.
“Negativity is the expression of criticism of or pessimism about something.”
This I believe that negativity makes an individual stronger and wiser.
To begin with, all my life, I lived with strict, protective, hard working, expecting, yet loving and caring family. And like any typically proper family, this environment education is viewed to be the key to all successes. In family gatherings, I remember that most of the conversations we all shared were about linked to education. Education this, education that! “Education before love life,” they say. Basically all that my family ever expected me to do, is to do well in school and to then graduate college with a degree. But along the way, I have encountered many criticisms and judgments that once brought me to hate myself.
From the age of 6 years to 13 years old, my family and I back then lived in a large compound filled with Filipinos and locals in a village called San Antonio. At first, people around there seemed really nice. We had shared many gatherings such as birthdays and holidays, but everything nice then soon to seem unreal. I am not too sure how everything then started, but one day everything changed and came to the point where I wasn’t allowed to go outside the house because I then became the talk of the village. They tend to tell me that due to the person I was, there would be no future for me. One day my grandparents heard a rumor that I wouldn’t finish my education because I would be pregnant and ill just end up my second aunt. They also called me names like whore, stupid, bitch, etc. My family tried their best to not expose me to the negativity the village had towards me. But even though they try hard enough not to, my parents actions and anger to the village soon reflected to me. My family would believe all the lies and sayings our neighbors would think and say about me. They would use it against me to make me realize that people will always be people and that the world is a cruel place. I wasn’t too sure what triggered the neighbors to have the hate they had towards me, maybe jealousy? I don’t know. I then grew frustrated at the world that I even lost hope and patience towards others and most especially towards myself. That no matter how good of a person I was or how well I did in school, nothing was ever good enough to satisfy those damn people. So it then came to a point where I had to be moved to live with my aunt in Florida. Although I was moved across the world, all the negativity still remained. It was then hard for me to accept new friends whom I could really trust due to the stubborn person I had become. I still walked around carrying the burden and pressure of negativity the village created for me.
Till one day I soon realized that all the negativity had a purpose for me. I opened my heart and mind to realize that deserved all the negativity, so I applied them to my everyday living no matter how much hurt and pressure it caused me. And as I opened up, I found many new friends who have accepted me for who I was. I worked hard in Florida, then flew back to Saipan to flaunt how smart, well educated, and how beautiful I have become. Although I do not live in the same village, I still see them around here and there. And although they still seemed to be interested to talk about me, I gave them many true stories and successes about myself for them to then tell the others.
Still being the good person I am today, and believe that I deserve the best, I had realized that I have come so far and that only God can be the judge of my future. Only he can see my failure and successes, and only He can accept me for who I was in the past, who I am today, and whoever I may become in the future. Since the day I stood firm of my life, I made no regrets. I believed in all the negative criticism I had ever received and I thank those who has and will ever criticize me on my flaws because it has applied me to be the better, the wiser, and the stronger person I am today and in the future.
So this is why I believe in negative criticism. May we all be ever judged and hated, but criticism will only help you to become better than those who does criticize you.
This I believe that negativity makes an individual stronger and wiser.
To begin with, all my life, I lived with strict, protective, hard working, expecting, yet loving and caring family. And like any typically proper family, this environment education is viewed to be the key to all successes. In family gatherings, I remember that most of the conversations we all shared were about linked to education. Education this, education that! “Education before love life,” they say. Basically all that my family ever expected me to do, is to do well in school and to then graduate college with a degree. But along the way, I have encountered many criticisms and judgments that once brought me to hate myself.
From the age of 6 years to 13 years old, my family and I back then lived in a large compound filled with Filipinos and locals in a village called San Antonio. At first, people around there seemed really nice. We had shared many gatherings such as birthdays and holidays, but everything nice then soon to seem unreal. I am not too sure how everything then started, but one day everything changed and came to the point where I wasn’t allowed to go outside the house because I then became the talk of the village. They tend to tell me that due to the person I was, there would be no future for me. One day my grandparents heard a rumor that I wouldn’t finish my education because I would be pregnant and ill just end up my second aunt. They also called me names like whore, stupid, bitch, etc. My family tried their best to not expose me to the negativity the village had towards me. But even though they try hard enough not to, my parents actions and anger to the village soon reflected to me. My family would believe all the lies and sayings our neighbors would think and say about me. They would use it against me to make me realize that people will always be people and that the world is a cruel place. I wasn’t too sure what triggered the neighbors to have the hate they had towards me, maybe jealousy? I don’t know. I then grew frustrated at the world that I even lost hope and patience towards others and most especially towards myself. That no matter how good of a person I was or how well I did in school, nothing was ever good enough to satisfy those damn people. So it then came to a point where I had to be moved to live with my aunt in Florida. Although I was moved across the world, all the negativity still remained. It was then hard for me to accept new friends whom I could really trust due to the stubborn person I had become. I still walked around carrying the burden and pressure of negativity the village created for me.
Till one day I soon realized that all the negativity had a purpose for me. I opened my heart and mind to realize that deserved all the negativity, so I applied them to my everyday living no matter how much hurt and pressure it caused me. And as I opened up, I found many new friends who have accepted me for who I was. I worked hard in Florida, then flew back to Saipan to flaunt how smart, well educated, and how beautiful I have become. Although I do not live in the same village, I still see them around here and there. And although they still seemed to be interested to talk about me, I gave them many true stories and successes about myself for them to then tell the others.
Still being the good person I am today, and believe that I deserve the best, I had realized that I have come so far and that only God can be the judge of my future. Only he can see my failure and successes, and only He can accept me for who I was in the past, who I am today, and whoever I may become in the future. Since the day I stood firm of my life, I made no regrets. I believed in all the negative criticism I had ever received and I thank those who has and will ever criticize me on my flaws because it has applied me to be the better, the wiser, and the stronger person I am today and in the future.
So this is why I believe in negative criticism. May we all be ever judged and hated, but criticism will only help you to become better than those who does criticize you.
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